Collection: St Joseph's Hospice x Goodordering

I have cancer. I have had cancer for 8 years, with my stage 4 news coming in June 2021. They talked about 5 years, which leaves 2 years left. Obviously I’m fighting it… changing diet, reading up, being active in my treatment, regular scans etc. Theirs is not a huge amount aside from that I can do. I spend a lot of time thinking about death. Or, more correctly, I have a fascination with the last weeks, days and moments of death. If you looked at my latest google searches you would wonder if I’m insane. I also become obsessed with people who die from cancer. Mostly celebrities as they are the only ones I can read up about without being too creepy. Most recently Shannon Doherty, then there is Patrick Swayze, Olivia Newton John, just to name a few.

Recently our local hospice had an open day and I decided to go. I took the family, it wasn’t a deep consideration, it was a fun weekend activity, and something I thought would be good to further normalise my cancer with the family. I have two children and a wife. My boys are 6 and 12 and they have always been included in discussions about my cancer, when I get a good scan, when I get a bad scan etc.

I also have my own business, Goodordering. I design cycling bags. I love my neighbourhood in Hackney, east London and ride my bike everywhere. Im often seen locally with my bike stacked high with Ikea bags filled with orders or cycling to school pick up with impractical shoes on and colourful headwear, my latest crochet projects. It’s a wonder my kids are not completely embarrassed of me…. Or maybe they are :) haha

I’m lucky to have my own business and I am passionate about small businesses. I love small, I detest corporate, and I love the feeling of being part of my community. Thats is why I offered to use my design skills and business to support St Joseph’s hospice, in the off chance I can help raise some money for this wonderful place where people go to die.

The hospice is in the heart of hackney, its on a main busy road filled with traffic and loud busses. But as soon as you enter the gates of the hospice, there is a feeling of peace. The hospice is like a hospital but one where guests are welcome. It is bright and airy and open and there are lots of community spaces and the most beautiful old world garden with a fountain and little nooks and quiet spaces for reflection. Being there didn’t freak me out, it made me happy that places like this exist.

I’m not an artist, I’m more a designer so when it came to creating some pieces to raise money the first thing I thought of was t-shirts. People wear them, they can start and prompt conversations. Normalising death and bringing it out of the taboo and into the street is the aim of this project. I don’t want my kids to be scared when I die. I want them to get used to the idea so it doesn’t break them when it happens. Because as we know… it will happen… to all of us.

So please support my little project if you can, 100% of profits go to the hospice. Please share this story and I hope anyone else going through a similar thing to me, also finds a way to make peace with dying.

Love Jacqui